I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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