Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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