So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
