Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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