dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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