Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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