i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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