Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize