Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
