Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize