I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
