If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
