The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
