He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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