Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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