it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
