You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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