lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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