Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
