if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
