i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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