First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
