my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
