He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
