Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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