What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
