Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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