So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
