dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize