Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mom said you looked used
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
