what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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