He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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