i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
