You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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