i wish my penis had a tongue
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
