I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
