i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
