Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
