Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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