I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
