these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
