Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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