I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
