Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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