Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
