I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
