Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
