I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I cannot find my penis.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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