just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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