Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize