She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You made out with two different species that night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder