The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize