I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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