At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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