At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
