all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
