M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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