id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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