what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
