i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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