I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
