Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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