Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
