I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
