We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
